When it comes to mixed marriages, there’s nothing more beautiful than the blending of two cultures into one.  But what do you do when two cultures’ traditions don’t mix and match? Nichole Parker never noticed the cultural differences between her and her fiancè until they actually started wedding planning. In fact, the reason they got along so well was because Nichole, 36, had been living in Italy for six years before she met her Italian fiancé. “By the time I met Alessandro, I had already absorbed the culture.”

Soon after the two decided to make it official, she realized what she wanted and didn’t want out of a wedding. Most Italian weddings can be an all-night extravaganza with a meal that includes up to 12 courses. “It’s Italian tradition to put on an extravagant event. After World War II, people rarely went out to eat which is why weddings were something that people really looked forward to. They knew they were going to have a good meal. “ said Nichole.

Making Compromises

One thing to keep into perspective is that not everything will go exactly you want it. So be ready to make some compromises. Nichole will be able to plan her Spring wedding the way she and Alessandro dreamed. But there a few battles she won’t win. The never ending meal. “I ended up with few more courses than what I wanted. But at least I won the bomboniere battle,” said Nichole.

Louisa Ientile, a 39-year-old software programmer from Canada knew she’d have to tighten up the reins on what was feasible for her big day. Their original guest list included nearly 300 people. According to Louisa, this is quite common in Italo-Canadian families. “If your neighbor invited you to his son's wedding then you must invite them to your daughter's wedding, regardless of whether your daughter has ever even met the neighbor before,” said Louisa. It’s a matter of respect. Luckily, she and her husband were able to cut the list down to 175. “We did make some enemies that year.”

Wedding planner and founder of Italia Celebrations, Brenda Babcock knows first hand about the mishaps and faux-pas that can happen when planning a cross-cultural wedding. Though she tries best to mix the best of both worlds, she encourages her clients to have realistic expectations. “ I advise my clients to incorporate the best from both cultures into the weddings. Though, it’s best not to push too hard,” explains Brenda, 45.

Different Wedding Traditions

Traditions and customs vary not only by way of continent but also country! Here are just a few of the different wedding customs practiced all around the world.

Spanish

In Spain, before a couple exchanges their vows in church, the groom gives his bride thirteen coins. The gift is a symbol of his vowed devotion and committment to support her throughout their marriage.

Italian

At the end of the night, the bride and groom give their guests a bomboniere, a gift traditionally made from actual silver or crystal to show their appreciation for being apart of their special day.

Brazilian

Brazilian tradition will have the bride show up about twenty minutes late to the altar. Talk about a grand entrance! A hope chest filled with hand embroidered linens is also made for the bride by all the women in her family to use in her new home.

Mexican

Before the night ends, guests dance around and pin money on the bride and groom.

Chinese

On the way to the wedding chapel, the groom stops at the bride’s house where he must play games and give gifts to her friends in exchange of releasing her to him.

So, if you’re planning a cross-cultural wedding, try not to mix and match too many traditions into one. Most importantly, be ready to make compromises, because it’ll likely spare you headaches down the road!