He proposed. You accepted. Your wedding date is set. So, why aren’t you jumping for joy?

Because you doubt you can squeeze into an expensive dress in time for The Big Day. Or maybe you really can’t afford the wedding you’ve always dreamed of. And after all, a gorgeous you and fabulous wedding ensures a lifetime of happily ever after, right?

Don’t kid yourself, says Oprah Winfrey’s favorite fitness guru, Bob Greene.

Sure it’s fine to have the goal of being fit and fabulous on your wedding day, says Greene. “But true happiness, true fulfillment, has nothing to do with a certain weight, or a particular dress, or even a specific event. You shouldn’t be asking yourself ‘What should I do? How do I eat?’ but ‘What can I do now to make this the most memorable day of my life?’”

1. Make a list. Check it twice.

In his book, The Best Life Diet, Greene advocates taking a true assessment of what makes you happy.

“I call it the ‘Circle of Life.’ Within a circle, graph out the five or six key areas of your life that matter most to you. Certainly your relationship with your future husband is one. Your family relationships are another. Perhaps your career is a key concern, while your physical and spiritual wellbeing may round out your list.”

After you’ve created your Circle of Life, says Greene, rate these areas: Are you currently happy with how things are going in each? If not, what must happen in order to change the situation?

“Writing it down means it is important to you. By ranking its importance, you can then set the necessary goals to achieve the happiness you deserve—on your wedding day, and beyond.”

2. Take small steps, each and every day.

“Each day is a new opportunity to reach a goal in one or two important areas of your life,” explains Greene. “Nothing is going to change overnight. Positive change occurs slowly, and only through the actions you initiate.”

For example, if you want to reach out to an estranged friend, start by writing a letter to open a dialogue between you. To thank that favorite aunt in your life, send her a gift from the heart.

As for those few extra pounds that seem to never go away, cut out one area of unnecessary calories—say, sugar, or bread—and take a 45-minute walk each day. Begine a free-weight regiment, with working with 5-pound hand weights , building from eight to twelve repetitions per arm, per exercise.

“By making just a couple of changes, you’ll see what makes you happy. Believe it or not, small things are the most powerful way to change your life.”

3. Don’t panic if you take two steps forward, and one step back…

Should you skip your mother’s birthday cake, because you’re off sugar? Says Greene: “It’s natural to slip, once in a while. But once you’ve recognized what has happened, you can right yourself, re-establish your balance.”

And if the results you see are also helping your confidence level, build on it. Add one or two other actions to your list each day.” Show another kindness, walk an extra half-hour. It all adds up, says Greene.

4. Keep your eyes on the prize.

“I remember my wedding day. I tried hard to see it through my wife’s eyes.” That must have been interesting. Besides the usual pressures, Greene’s betrothed, Urania, had the added excitement of having Oprah in the wedding party.

As it should be, it’s not the day’s glitches the Greenes now remember, but the joy. Obviously Greene took his own advice to heart. “Just don’t loose site of the prize. You’re trying to create a memory. Not just of the day, but for the rest of your life.”

You can find more indepth emotional exercises on Bob Greene’s website: TheBestLife.com