Christina expected to get emotional when she first tried on her wedding gown. After all, the biggest day of her life was right around the corner and would be the beginning of a life-long commitment.

“When I found the dress of my dreams at the bridal salon and stood in front of the mirror staring at my reflection, I just began to cry uncontrollably,” the bride-to-be said. “My mother and my fiancé’s mother were there and thought I had tears of happiness. Instead, I had this strange feeling that I just wanted to bolt like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride!”

For the bride, the riskiest time for second thoughts normally occurs within a month of the wedding. Grooms tend to work through their bouts before ever buying the engagement ring. Although the normal “prewedding jitters” can explode like butterflies in your stomach at any point during all of the planning and preparations, it is important to be able to distinguish psychologically between normal nerves or something more serious that your heart should truly listen to.

A mixed bag of emotions is expected when couples plan a wedding. There are feelings of excitement over the ceremony, the honeymoon and a brand new future, along with a sort of mourning period over saying goodbye to a part of your identity that you’ve enjoyed as a single person. Now, you become half of a team that will share life decisions, responsibilities and most likely parenting down the road. Experiencing a roller coaster ride of happiness, sadness, fear and excitement are by no means any reason to put on your running shoes.

So, what are the signs to watch for if your jitters are a sign of something more serious? If instead of worrying about seating arrangements at the reception or if the bridesmaids are going to like their dresses or if your day will be as perfect as you’ve hoped for, you’re worrying about your partner’s habits, how you will be able to make it financially as a couple, things in their character that cause you concern, it’s time to put on the brakes. Obsessing over things about your partner or relationship could be a sign that this isn’t the one!

You should also think twice if you were coerced or pressured by a partner who told you that becoming husband and wife is your only option. If you are more comfortable with a less formal and legally binding arrangement, or if you simply aren’t ready, your Mr. or Miss Right should understand and be willing to wait. Feeling trapped and rushed into something as monumental as spending forever together is no way to assure yourself of a life of marital bliss.

Perhaps you’re in love and your heart wants to do this, yet the two of you can’t agree on  many key issues. You want children, he doesn’t. His religious faith doesn’t blend with yours. You’re a planner when it comes to budgets and finances and he goes through money like toilet paper. All is not lost if you butt heads on these topics, but it may be a symptom of a need for premarital counseling. Professional therapy can often clear the air about whether you can work together as a couple or you are simply too incompatible.

There’s no doubt that planning a wedding can result in a jumble of nerves and mixed emotions. But, if you know what is normal and what may be a sign of trouble, you will be better equipped to know which direction your true happiness lies in.