My wedding was like a trip to a theme park. Planning it was easy–like a ride on the tea cups. Then, the first seventeen hours of the wedding day were as stressful as a roller coaster. But then from the start of the ceremony to when our limo swept us away at the end of the night, it was like the part of the flume where you hit the water–exasperating, exciting, and just plain fun. Maybe the extreme anxiety brought about the incredible good times, who knows, but one thing I do know is that you've got to enjoy it all, because you won't get a second trip on these rides.

Playing without fire

My fiancée and I are planning to marry in August, and we're starting to talk details. When it comes to weddings, we're actually pretty unopinionated people. Even though we're both artists,  we don't care to fret over  things like color schemes, cake flavors, or flower arrangements. We are very aesthetically-minded, but  we just don't want to stress about the aesthetics of our wedding. Do you have any tips on how you might approach wedding day choices without 1) upsetting your aesthetic sensibilities and 2) not letting laxness get in the way of a beautiful wedding? I guess what I'm asking is, how do you make this process fun? — Clueless in Cleveland 

Dear Clueless: You might not believe this, but Wifey considers me a bit of a dandy. I disagree entirely (of course!) but I do agree that I have a strong aesthetic sense, so I feel your pain. I know this sounds like flimsy advice, but don't worry about the fact that you're not fretting. Just because there's an entire legion of betrothed that spends nine months freaking about the details doesn't mean you have to do that too. True story: Wifey and I got engaged, booked the venue and pulled together the catering in the first three days, then spent the next 8 months wondering why everyone said it would be so hard. As for making it fun, grab some butcher block paper and make a huge wedding to-do list on an entire wall. Then, party like it's your honeymoon every time you cross off something. It helps you to see the progress as well as to enjoy the journey. 

Childsplay

My wife's mother seems to think children are invited to our wedding, and is telling everyone they are, although THEY AREN'T! We've addressed the invitations specifically to invite only the adults, and we can't afford to invite everyone's children. And besides, we don't want little ones there. My wife is hearing about it from her side of the family. Is this a pretty common complaint? Also, how do we get people to back off without alienating them forever? You would think people would understand, it's not their day, but you know how it is! — Adults Only in Austin 

Hey Adults Only: I'm not sure if this is a common complaint or not — remember that I'm no expert, just a guy with a wife who went through a wedding. But I imagine these things happen from time to time. First off, I think you should have slapped an R-rating tag on your invites. Nothing says, “No kids” quite like the MPAA's big ol' ratings. But another way to get your point across is by joking about R-rated themes that might be at your wedding, such as “My friends are pumped for the open bar,” and “My best man keeps joking about hiring a stripper to jump out of the cake.” Make sure you do this in front of future mother in law, but also lay it heavy with sarcasm. That way no one will believe you, but no one will be willing to doubt you either. Then, when the wedding day comes, conduct yourself in the classy, high-society way that you were no doubt raised. When flip through your wedding album years later, no one will remember that you were kind of a jerk beforehand, and there won't be any kiddies messing up your tender moments.